Just My Thoughts

LeVar “Var” Lawrence

There be days that I wish that I got shot in my head

Instead I’m fucking stuck in this hospital bed

Could of left me in a pool that was all red

Instead I’m left with a body that’s half dead

Only if he had raised his arm about an inch or two

I wouldn’t have to be telling my story to you

There be days that I wake up feeling blue

I can’t even teach my son how to play ball

Or pick up and run if he needs me at the drop of a call

Is this a punishment for all the wrong that I did?

Now I’ve been sentenced to this wheelchair doing a life-sentence bid

And some nigga is fucking my chick

While I’m waiting for the nurse to come and wash my dick

There be days that I wish that I got shot in my head

Instead, I’m fucking stuck in a hospital bed

Could have left me in a pool that was all red

Instead, I’m left with a body that is half-dead

Only if you could feel my pain you’d know how I feel

To wake up with a body that can’t feel

To drop something on the floor and you can’t kneel

To have an orange in your hand that you can’t peel

To wake up feeling that you don’t care about yourself

Or not even give two fucks about your own health

To wish you were lying six feet deep, thinking to yourself this can’t be life

Then having thoughts about ending your own life

Damn! There be days that I wished that I got shot in my head

Instead, I’m fucking stuck in a hospital bed

Why couldn’t he leave me in a pool that was all red?

Instead, I’m fucking stuck with a body that is half-dead