Andres Alvarado
It Be Like That Sometimes
“It be like that sometimes” is a phrase I use often. I mean, sometimes it really do just be like that. When people assume you don’t speak English, I mean, it be demeaning like that sometimes. When you constantly get followed at gas stations, it just be annoying like that sometimes. When the cop’s eye just lingers on you, sizing you up, it just be scary like that sometimes. When your homie’s brains end up stainin’ the carpet, it just be really heartbreaking like that sometimes.
Sometimes, it’s just easier to accept things the way they are. Making change is hard, especially from the bottom up. My friend was murdered, and my first thought was, “yeah it be like that sometimes.” Maybe I had become just a little too desensitized. When you know somebody, who lives the street life it’s like knowing somebody born with a terminal illness. They’re going to end up dead or permanently hurt, probably young. It’s a process that you’ve seen a lot of times, it’s a process your dad has seen, and it’s a process so old, even your Grandpa has seen. So, when you finally hear about their death it’s like hearing a disease just claimed someone. You’re saddened, but at the same time you’re not surprised. Afterall, it just be like that sometimes.
It’s hard to know the exact moment somebody becomes terminally ill due to this lifestyle. There’s a lot of factors that contribute towards it, racism, class, but I think a large part of it is a desire to belong. I think everyone wants to feel like they belong, whether it be with their family, friends, society, or something more ephemeral. This innate desire for belonging drives our decision making. This can be a good or bad thing, but for black and brown people this desire to belong can have very violent consequences. There are greater opportunities for people of color to express the desire to belong in violent ways. Furthermore, society constantly tells us that people with darker skin pigments belong in this lifestyle. This is only reinforced by random strangers who treat us as dangers and hazards. At the end of the day it feels like in the streets is where we belong. Almost as if the illness is genetic; started at birth. But we all know that’s not the case. There’s a lot of environmental forces and personal choices that go into developing it. When you see it happen enough, when the same exact illness has destroyed the generations before yours, it’s hard to not to feel like it just be like that. It’s hard not to feel like the world just be like that.
Of course, the world isn’t inherently fucked up like this. There’s a logical historical progression that lead to the current state of affairs. Mistakes of the past echo into the present. The mistakes and irrationality that stemmed from a need to rationalize colonialism and slavery have caused a lot of the pain and strife we see today. These mistakes were choices made a long time ago. However, we’re free today to make good choices that heal the wounds created by past mistakes. This gives me hope, that with enough understanding and compassion, we can make those right choices. If we make enough compassionate choices, it will no longer just be like that sometimes.
